no longer fearless

No, I am not missing you.

What I miss is falling peacefully asleep
wrapped up in a warm embrace.
I miss waking up in a familiar room
hearing you breathe and feel relieved.
What I miss is somewhere to come home to
and the reason I’d do it all for.

I miss being fearless
the nothing-will-tear-us-apart
knowing whatever future beholds
I held a piece of your heart.

Thanks to you I need meds for sleeping
while you hold on to someone else.
Each night I wake from most horrible dreams
in a place that doesn’t resemble a home.
You became the enemy by choice
cruelly pushing me away.

I am no longer fearless
since you took away all my beliefs
I fear the dark one you’ve become
who replaced me without a blink of his eye.

Tell me again, why should I miss you?
Tell me again, which side of you are you on?
Tell me again, who are you betraying?
Was it me
is it her
won’t it be yourself
in the end?

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